Posted in Parenting

So You Want To Kick Some Butts?

First of all, all the movies mentioned in this post are my all time favorites. I used to watch them over and over again when I was a kid and wait for them to be aired during school breaks because it’s so famous, the channels will definitely be airing them.

Second of all, let’s now talk about these movies in parents’ perspective.

Colt, Tum Tum and Rocky

The 3 Ninjas

3 Ninjas movie had to be one of my ultimate favorite ever. If this movie air now, I will definitely still watch them from start to end even though I know the dialog by heart. They are quick and they are cute (I was in love with Rocky for years!). They are not obnoxious and they listen to their parents and Grampa. They are the good kids that probably every parent in the world dream off – they listen to you and they know how to kick butts.

Child’s Perspective – It’s awesome to know all the ninja moves and have super close brothers who will come and save you when the mean bikers got you by your neck. It’s not impossible to jump from a table to a chair, fall perfectly on your two feet and still can kick the bad guy’s in the crotch. That guy is no taller than I am. Hey, if they can do it, I can too!

Parent’s Perspective – Are these people crazy teaching that my kids can do all that and still be safe? Those are grown ups, for Pete’s sake. They only acted dumb because the director told them to. How can a 9-year old strength compare to a mustachioed man whose arms as big as my thighs? Even if he’s been a couch potato all his life, he is still a grown man!

Kevin and The Sticky Bandits outside Duncan's Toy Store

Home Alone

Ah…Who can deny the joy of watching Home Alone on Christmas night with a steaming bowl of popcorn, warm socks on your feet, fire kindling softly and marvel at the ingenuity of a 9 year old in setting up all those traps?

Child’s Perspective – Dad has all those tools in the basement. I know where he keeps ’em. They are in the big red toolbox on his work-table. And I know where Mom keeps her cooking oil and those extra tough superglue. I will be ready if there is anyone try to break into the house.

Parent’s Perspective – Oh, dear Lord, please let my child be okay when I frantically contact every cop in town and everyone I know to go to my house to watch over my son while I make my way back home – darn this traffic; I will never forgive myself if anything happens to him. Please don’t let my son think of that Home Alone movie where he sets up traps with nails, knives, string, fire (oh, Lord, no), cans of paints and whatever else it is that John keeps in the basement. I know I shouldn’t have let little Brian watch that movie last Christmas, I knew it, I knew I felt something was not right!

Daniel training with Mr Miyagi for tournament

The Karate Kid

This kid deserves a hats-off. From being bullied, to being shoved down a hill, punch in the face, eaten dirt, we gotta give him a break. It was a very heart-warming movie when Mr Miyagi was teaching Daniel how to fight and the most important thing about karate is here (points to heart). It was a matter of pride to Daniel, it was a heritage for Mr Miyagi. Both of them compliment each other perfectly.

Child’s Perspective – I am bullied at school, why can’t I have a maintenance man who knows karate? I need to join a karate class. I need to know all those moves so that if Big Fat Karl comes around again, I can kick his butt. I think Mom wouldn’t mind me joining a class for karate.

Parent’s Perspective – Thank God for at least one decent movie about self-defense! At least this LaRusso kid is not fighting 10 mean bikers at one go by throwing sand or chair or kicking them in the crotch. He’s at least training for a tournament. I can live with that if Brian wants to join a karate class in town. There’s no traps or dangerous kitchen appliances being used. It teaches my kid to honor the martial art and not use it to prove how strong you are to another person. It’s important for Brian to know that he shouldn’t use karate unless really challenged. I know he’s having trouble with that Karl kid. Maybe karate will give him a little bit of confidence. I’ll speak with John.

————-

I joined several martial arts classes and I know how strong a grown man can be. No matter how much you know the right technique of where to kick or punch or hit him, he is still very strong. If a trained grown woman can’t bring down a man that easily (ladies, do note that I didn’t say couldn’t) what more a 9 year old? If there is anything that I learnt from these classes is that, there is nothing more dangerous than a false hope. And I am not just talking about these kind of movies.

I saw an ad once about how this guy can teach women self-defense in half an hour and you can bring down a man by just a kick-flip-watcha!! should you are attacked in the basement parking lot. I went by the place just to see how many women turned up. The place was jam packed! These women are going to walk out from there after about an hour or so, thinking that they can take down a man. I pray hard for the Lord to keep these women safe.

Now, I still let Eros watch these movies because even though he can imitate the kicks and punches, he couldn’t exactly set up traps and play with fire. Once he’s big enough to understand, I’ll make sure that I will explain to him how these things are superficial and not at all possible to be done under any circumstances. I’ll teach him the correct way of emergency actions and I hope he understands how serious I am about this.

Thank God I didn’t do any of these things when I was a kid although I did try to set up a booby trap for my sister. She did, however, end up with a cut on her eyebrow.

I thought I can kick some butts. Boy, my mom was the one who ended up kicking my butt.

The world-famous crane stance.

All photos courtesy of Google.

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Author:

A feminist mother of 3 who thinks she can write.

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