Posted in Children, Parenting

Let’s Not Go To Four

Has it been ages since I last post anything here?

I guess I have been that occupied with so many things that by the time I finally sit down to write something, my eyelids felt like someone was hanging lead from them.

Eros’ birthday was on Tuesday, 22nd February. My boyfriend took a day off to be with us at home, which is really great of him because I know how much work he is having right now at the office. He’s gotten a big promotion and has a bigger project coming his way. As much as that means more money for the family, it also means less time for us from him. We had a huge fight the other day about this but that’s not what I wanted to talk about tonight.

A few weeks before Eros turns two, something a friend said rings in my head like a distant eerie bell coming from an abandoned church. Okay, maybe not that eerie but it sure does toll several times in my head when I look at Eros. The friend was asking how old is Eros now while we’re catching up during a smoke break (while I was still working). She offhandedly mentioned that her mom used to tell her – “Oh, you know what they say about kids! Wonderful One, Terrible Two, Terrifying Three…You know what I mean when you have kids!”

My friend is neither in a relationship nor with kids. So she was able to laugh at how cute that sounds. To her. All I could manage was smile and nod. I mean, so far that has been true. Eros was a wonderful one year old boy. And as he approaches two, he gets more and more, well, not exactly terrible, but yeah, something close to that. And I don’t even want to think of three.

I know that he’s not a terrible child because I know terrible when I see one. Or have I? I mean, I’ve seen some really nasty children running around or pulling things or screaming and yelling and puking and spilling and rolling and punching and pulling, but surely that’s not Eros?

For me, I am mentally ready to accept any challenge that Eros throws at me while bringing him up because I know that is part of me being a parent when we had him. But sometimes I hear so many stories about how terrible kids can be, I can’t help but think what I will go through. Whether I will have enough patience, will I break down, will I be scolding Eros all the time, will I take to beating him when I can’t take it anymore (which God forbid will happen!) and so many other things.

Eros is not naughty. He is mischievous and I know he does that only because he’s smart and has a mind of his own even at a very young age. He’s able to understand when I talk to him, when I instruct him for something, when I ask for his help with simple household chores.

Maybe my friend is right but maybe she isn’t. I’ve been told countless time by my mother that every child is different and we should accept all challenge in bringing them up no matter how difficult, no matter how much we want to scream at the top of our lungs; by always, always remembering to breathe. It is my mother’s creed that all problems can be solved once we take a deep breath first and then think.

Because she said we wouldn’t want to scold our child because we let our emotions in the way. We wouldn’t want to be remembered “Oh, my mom is always screaming and yelling at me over everything,” by our child when they grow up. My mother always remind me that there is so many trial and mistakes we make while bringing up kids but that’s what grandmothers (my mother) are for. She has made her errors so now she passed on to me what to do and what not to do while give me room to make my own mistakes so that perhaps one day I can pass on to my kids when they bring up their own kids.

I guess to be fair to my friend, who if turns out to be right after all, I would say kids are wonderful one, terrible two, terrifying three, four – Well, let’s not go to four!

Eros’ tumblr blog for all his antics and photos – That’s Eros

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Author:

A feminist mother of 3 who thinks she can write.

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