It is amazing with what people can do or come up with these days.
Where I live, there is a club for women, call the Obedient Wives Club or the OWC. This club’s basic objective is to teach modern women how to treat their husbands in the proper Islamic way, obey each and every command and the latest stint is how to sexually pleasure your husband. This latter “lesson” is shared with the club members through a book (sex manual, if you may), that is also available to the public. The book is called Islamic Sex, Fighting Jews to Return Islamic Sex to The World.
Now before this post dwell further into this OWC, I must say that I have not the slightest idea why the book is titled as such. I can understand if the club wish to publish a book about sex because there’s nothing that say they can’t but how can “Islamic sex” defeats the Jews? And what does sex or Jew has got to do with anything in a marriage? (I haven’t come across this book yet as I’m not sure if it will be banned but as soon as I get my hands on it, I will definitely share the contents of the book here.)
I shall now look at this from several angles as I think I can somewhat understand or at least guess what this club is trying to do.
One of the lessons in this book talks about how a woman should sexually pleasure her husband better than a first class elite prostitutes. Now, if you remember, I did write something similar to this idea. My post A Good Wife was based on a quote I read and for just for this post’s sake, the quote was, “A good wife is someone who is a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom“. It may not be a first class elite prostitute but the general idea of how to behave in the bedroom is the same.
I know that people now are getting more open when it comes to sex (thanks to the Internet?) and can discuss and talk about it without flinching or avoiding eye contact. But to claim that if women don’t pleasure their husband better than a first class prostitute, there is a risk where the husband will solicit a prostitute? I think that’s rather far-fetched. Whereas I have nothing against them claiming that a good wife is someone who is also sexually good in bed, because at the end of the day, a lot of things if not marriage mainly revolve around sex; but to go so far as to say without it husbands will resort to prostitutes is rather far-fetched.
It’s almost like degrading men. Just because the wife is unable to provide sex, he will choose a prostitute (first class or not) over his wife. Isn’t that insinuating that men are that shallow and can only be kept loyal to his wife through sex? Yet you call yourself an obedient wife? Ironic much.
In Islam, a man can take up to 4 wives. This has always been a bone of contention among women, because as much as the Muslim women of my country know and are very familiar with this masculine privilege, no woman would like to have her husband marry another, let alone another 3 in a row. There is a reason why this law is allowed in Islam but I’m not one who is well versed in the laws of Islam to be disclosing it here but this much I know. A man who wishes to take on another wife, needs to be equal in terms of support, love and sexual needs and able to provide everything in twos for both wives, if he has two wives. If he has 4, then he should provide them each with separate needs. Some men mistake this law as an advantage for them to have another woman who is not a mistress and where he can legally have sex with but most men will think several times before taking up another wife. Still, women are very sensitive and apprehensive about this and one need not to wonder why.
Coming back to this OWC’s book, they claim that a man should have sex simultaneously with all his wives in order to maintain an equal and harmonious relationship among the wives.
Take a second to read that line again.
I don’t know about you but to me that sounds like a recipe for disaster! Not only the women had to accept that her husband is married to another woman, they are now to endure a sexual engagement with the rest of them, women that she may or may not like? If I were ever thrown in a polygamous relationship, the only solace I have is the time alone I have with my husband during sex. Now I may have to watch him engaged with the other women. It’s either I turn suicidal or someone’s gonna get his/her throat slit that night.
Honestly, I have no idea where this club is going.
It is one thing to share and advise modern women how to be respectful of their husbands but it is another to teach women how to be slave to them. For me, the club’s ideology is but a brainwashing scheme, design (probably in good faith) to remind women not to be rude or disrespectful of their husbands, especially to those who is doing better than their men in career wise, but they may have been a tad too zealous.
There is not one religion that teach a woman to be rude to her husband. In fact, some of them advises women to treat husbands as next to God but I think, for everyone who knows and understand their religion well, this is a metaphor for women to be a good and loving wife, not a literal servant at his feet.
Marriage is about understanding and compromising and above all, love. Not a total submission from every aspect of a woman’s life. Just because you’re a first class elite prostitute in bed, it doesn’t mean you’re a perfect wife. Marriage can fail for so many reasons.
And being obedient doesn’t guarantee a lasting marriage.