Eros is going on 3 years old soon.
Each day he is trying my patience with new habit that he seems to acquire overnight. Funny how he is able to pick up something so fast and learn it within impressive time frame that I wonder how much really he has learnt.
Last week he learnt how to ignore me when I call him.
After what seemed like an eternity and just when I’m about to lose it did he turn around slowly and look at me as though he has never seen me before. Still he will take his own time to make his way to me and pretend to study every minute detail of the toy he constantly have with him.
I don’t think I have been tested so often before until I’m with a 3 year old son. Previously, I always think that I have a high tolerance for people and pesky things but not after Eros. I feel like I can lose it any second and snap like a twig.
This week Eros decides that everyone else should wait for him to finish whatever it is he’s doing before going for his shower or taking his dinner or finishing his afternoon bottle before his nap.
Every other sentence is ended with a, “Wait. I want to do this,” or “Wait. Play first,” or “Mommy wait. Eros do this.”
I can’t tell you how annoying it is to be asked to wait when I need to be doing the housework. Although he doesn’t keep quiet and turn to stone when I call him anymore, the way he always put up his hand asking me to wait sure is driving me up the wall.
It is a wonderful thing for Eros to know what he wants and see how far he can push me. But with me carrying a 37weeks baby that is due in about 3 weeks time, I wouldn’t want to be tested. I literally feel my temper is really short lately and there many times I had to walk away because I thought I might hit Eros.
My second pregnancy isn’t as easy as Eros’ was so there are many times I had to sit down and catch a breath, change into looser clothing because I really do sweat that much now since I seem to radiate more body heat than a sauna generator can and I feel like a total klutz. My fingers feel as though they have swelled to triple their size, I feel like as huge as an oil tanker so when Eros is being whiny or mess things up, I get extremely irritated.
I have had him being whiny and messy before and I handled it fine when I wasn’t carrying another baby but right now I’m having gestational hypotension as well and I get headaches almost constantly. I don’t want to get angry with Eros for being a child that he wonderfully is but sometimes I wish I can drown out the noise and the housework and domestic obligations just so I can rest.
Each time my temper is running short with Eros, I tried to remember all the parenting guidebooks I’ve read and try to do what they advised me to do. Most of the times it works but sometimes when I’ve had enough, I went back to yelling at him. It hurts me to see him cry after I yelled at him because I know he’s not doing it on purpose. It’s his child development learning curve and he can’t help being rebellious.
I kept telling myself that I’m the one who should understand him more than he should understand me. He’s only going to be 3 and how much of a pregnant mom’s situation can he understand.
A friend once told me that her aunt told her about taking care of toddlers. It’s the number game – Wonderful One, Terrible Two, Terrifying 3 and let’s not go to four, shall we?
I know if I kept thinking it in this terms, it’ll probably be true because my mind is telling me to be prepared as such. I tried not to think about it whenever Eros is being very trying but there were times it creeps to my mind.
All I know is there is nothing more I love than taking care of Eros. And I also know it definitely is not as easy as counting the numbers.