Since I’ve had two cesareans, the doctors told me that if I ever want to get pregnant again, I can do it on 2 conditions. One, I have to wait for Sophia to be at least 5 years old and two, my third baby would have to be delivered through cesarean as well.
So no chance of normal delivery. Ever.
I don’t know how this makes me feel.
I mean, if you have been reading my posts, then you know that I really do want a normal delivery. That was why I stick it out with Sophia because I want to see how far can I go in order to have a normal delivery. Of course at the end because I was in too much pain and I didn’t dilate enough, I had to go through cesarean. See Bringing Home Sophia for my birth story.
I have not really talk this out with Mohen yet but I was thinking to myself that maybe 2 children isn’t that bad after all.
By the time Sophia is 5 years old, Eros will be almost 8 and I will be 31. Sure it is still a very young age but I was thinking in terms of how things will be in the future.
Eros will be in school and Sophia will be entering school so I may need to run around a lot so I’m not sure how I will be lugging around another pregnant belly when I need to be on my feet most of the times.
Sure I’m predicting something that could be easily done because after all, there are many other women who are able to do just what I describe without even huffing or puffing, figuratively speaking, of course. So there is no excuse that I can’t do it as well.
This time around, my mother helps me a lot with Eros while I recover from the birth. I literally didn’t attend to Eros at all except for occasional bedtime reading or changing his diapers and other light tasks. So if I were to be pregnant and have a baby by the time I’m 31 or 32, my mom would be close to 60 and I can’t expect her to look after Eros and Sophia, even though they will be at an age that’s more or less capable of taking care of themselves.
If Mohen and I were to decide to have only 2 children, we both will be at an age where it’s still convenient for us to go for a holiday or backpacking with the kids. We can concentrate on raising our children into teenagers without having to go back to being up to our elbows with diapers and midnight feeds.
Not only that, the cost of living will definitely go up in about 5 years time and if babies are expensive to have now, they sure will be in 2016. It’s probably better to concentrate on the ones that we already have and work with them rather than get tangled up again with newborns.
Of course babies are great to have and Mohen once told me that he thought it would be nice to have many kids. But I guess he would have to agree with me when we need to talk about being practical. In fact both of us romanticized about being a Von Trapp family but at the end of the day, how much is that going to cost and how I’m going to manage is another thing.
I’m very happy and contented with my two children. Mainly because I’ve never really wanted to have many of them, one or two the most. So it seems that I got my wish. I just hope Mohen would be willing to listen and see my point.
It’s not that I’m done in wanting to get pregnant or having babies. I just don’t feel like I want to go down that road again. I don’t know if that makes me sound like a horrible woman without any real maternal instincts, but I really do want to concentrate on just Eros and Sophia.
I’m pretty sure my mind’s made up. Let’s just hope Mohen can agree.