In 9 days time Sophia will be one month old.
I can’t for the life of me, imagine that time would fly so fast! With Eros, it seems to be a little slower. Maybe because he was my firstborn and there were many things that I have yet to learn. Now with Sophia, I can do most of the things without even realizing I was doing it.
Like the other day, I was breastfeeding her and Eros just got out from the toilet. He’s potty training, by the way. He wanted me to put his shorts on even though my sisters offered to help. So with one arm cradling Sophia to my breast, I helped Eros put on his short with the other while talking to him about his potty training so far. After I was done, I realized that I was able to do two things at once for two different child without even thinking how to do it.
I felt good about myself and most importantly, I feel slightly more confident about raising two children on my own.
Speaking of breastfeeding, Sophia is getting better at it.
She has hit her first month growth spurt as her breastfeeding session grows longer as she nursed more now and sleeps for slightly shorter period. We’ve been breastfeeding for 20days now and it does seem to get easier each day.
When I first started to breastfeed Sophia, there were so many challenges that I had to go through to make sure she can breastfeed well. As much as she can latch on since the first day she was born, it was crazy the first week that I felt like giving up each time I had to bring her to my breast.
Even before she could latch on, my body recoiled in pain because my nipples were sore and my breasts were so engorged with milk that it was painful to even touch it what more to have a baby suckling from it. But because I regretted for not breastfeeding Eros, I tried to breathe and clenched my teeth as the pain seethe through my body from Sophia’s powerful suckling motion.
I can’t remember how many times I cried while she breastfed the first few days because it was almost too painful to bear. I remembered latching her off to find my nipple bloody and cracked. But still I tried to breastfeed her for the next session. Even Mohen asked me to stop and just let Sophia have formula so I can rest but I insisted on breastfeeding for I know the only way for the breasts to get better and for my nipples to heal is to breastfeed and breastfeed some more.
I don’t know where my determination comes from and secretly I applaud myself for trying so hard not to give up. I gave up after 3 days of trying to breastfeed Eros and we fall back to formula feed him. I can’t imagine the energy I sacrificed for Sophia just so she can get my breast milk even though I feel like dropping to the floor each time she’s done breastfeeding. I’m proud that I’m breastfeeding her and each time I do, I only wished I could turn back time and be as resilient for Eros as I had with her.
So now after 20 days, my nipples have completely healed and the milk flow seems to come more naturally and faster now. Sophia can seem to be full on just my breast milk sometimes although I had to supplement her with about 3oz of formula to help her sleep. Maybe my milk supply is still slightly low to meet her demand but since she’s breastfeeding 90% of her feeding session, I know it’s just a matter of time before the milk supply really kicked in for her.
I remembered during the first few days when I cried while breastfeeding Sophia and my mom told me that it’s just going to be a few more weeks before everything is okay. I remembered crying harder when she told me that because then, few more weeks sounded like a year.
Well, it has been few weeks now after that first few days and yeah, it didn’t seem too bad. It was the pain I was in that made it seemed longer.
Now I’m enjoying breastfeeding Sophia. As a matter of fact, I just put her down in her crib because she feel asleep at my breast while I typed this post.