Posted in Motherhood

Why The Hell Am I Still Up?

So I didn’t think much about this until I realized I had not been able to sleep for at least a week now.

It was nothing new for me, not being able to sleep. Since Mohen always come home late at night, I sometimes stay up to wait for him so we could chat over his supper and catch up a little after that.

Now I realized that I can’t get myself to sleep even though I lay my head and try to relax so the sleep will come. And Mohen is fast asleep next to me so I had no one to wait up for. I mean, of course I was sort of waiting for my daughter to wake up for her late night feeds but I wasn’t exactly counting each minute.

Perhaps that’s what put me on the edge. I keep glancing at her in her crib, to see if she stirs or if she will toss and turn and then started to cry a little before she’s fully awake. Even though my eyelids are heavy and I do feel drowsy, I just can’t sleep.

It’s 2.30am now and I’m getting sleepier by the minute. I know I want to sleep, heck, my body is telling me to sleep. I’ve been doing nothing else lately but breastfeed so God knows it’s draining almost every ounce of my energy. But I know if I try to sleep, my daughter will probably wake up just as I’m drifting off to sleep.

I really should get some sleep. In a few hours time I have to wake up and make breakfast. There’s laundry too. And I have some errands to run as well.

It’s making me nauseated too. Is that normal?

I probably should see my doctor.

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Author:

A feminist mother of 3 who thinks she can write.

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