Posted in Relationship

What Wo(Man) Wants

So I decided to be less of a sexist.

People always talk about what women want but I don’t think I’ve seen a movie or as much fuss about what men want.

Maybe because people tend to assume everyone knows what men want. As a matter of fact, I can bet a couple of dollars on what you’re thinking right now about what men want and chances are I’ll make a clean sweep tonight.

So chocolate, roses, and teddy bears are typically the things men think women want.

But honestly, how many of us girls out there that really want that all the time. I mean, sure it’s nice getting flowers and roses and cuddly stuffed toys sometimes but most of the times we just want someone to take us to a football game and to a dinner of steak and beer after that.

Now I don’t know if men prefer their girl to be all girly and cute and smooshie poopsie or they like someone they can share their manly interests with. Like maybe a girl who wouldn’t be grossed out at watching wrestling no matter how fake we know it is, or a girl who likes to get down and dirty (no, not that one) in a jungle to go camping with them.

But what I know is, most men want their girl to understand them like a man would.

If a man is quiet while he’s thinking and not in the mood of sharing, he expects his girl to understand if he doesn’t come back home because he’s out having a beer on his own while he thinks things out. Or accept it wholeheartedly when he’s out with his friends drinking their wits away because he wants to forget about his worries for a while before he thinks of a way out.

I’m pretty sure this is a very hard thing to do for us girls. I mean, we even share random trivial problems like nail polish color for the day or our blog site’s theme to our men, so we are unable to fathom why you wouldn’t want to share with us when there’s a big issue that’s bothering you.

When a woman cares about a man, she really does care.

Sometimes too much for her own good and the good of the relationship. Calling their men every other hour to know if they’re okay are perceived as clingy behavior that reeks of mistrust. Asking for a text message just so we know everything is okay and that we can sleep is often interpreted as bossing.

This more often than not leads to arguments and hence, the term “irreconcilable differences” comes about.

It’s not that couples are not able to reconcile their differences. It is because they do not understand their differences and expect the other partner to simply accept the situation that leads to bitter ending in an otherwise great relationship.

Women is no different than men when it comes to wanting to be understood.

We expect our men to be able to read minds, read the subtlest face expression, the slightest change in our sighs and scoffs, interpret the secret language of our eyebrow movements and be a master of our encrypted language.

Ask any woman what “I’m fine” means and I can bet she will ask how is the word said before she can give you an answer.

Mohen always say that he wish he can get a straight answer from me rather than going on in explaining a whole plethora of things. I operate on sounds, visuals, feels, and vibes. Mohen operates on facts. I’m not saying that men are insensitive because I have learnt more than once that men can be more sensitive than a girl when they’re really comfortable with that one woman.

But that sensitivity is usually overpowered by their compartmentalized thinking. Women’s is honeycombed, riddled with endless grottoes and niches that can hold more twists and turns in it than a man’s could.

Men expect. Women want.

Men expect their women to be there for them by understanding how he handles his problems. Women want men to know they’re there for them by wanting to talk about his problems.

It’s such an opposite demand from each sex that it’s a wonder how men and women can live with each other at all.

Most women I know would grin and bear with what their men expect because they’re tired of arguing and being accused of not understanding. So far I’ve not met a man who would grin and bear with what his woman want when she wants to know and talk about his problems.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe men would traditionally stay men and still subconsciously think women is of a lesser sex so she needs to know her place in a relationship. I don’t think I can honestly say I know what men want from their women. For all I know, they want the same thing as women do but perhaps a little less complicated.

But then again, that’s what I want. Not men.

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Author:

A feminist mother of 3 who thinks she can write.

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