Here is what I learn from my father…
1. Never Trust A Man Who Made You Spaghetti On Your First Date.
I mean come on.. How darn hard is it for someone to cook spaghetti? You simply boil the pasta, which someone who has one hand can do, then you heat the sauce from the Preggo bottle you buy from Carrefour, throw in some button mushrooms, celeries and carrots, chop some sausages, and voila, you’re Chef Gusteous! If I have a boyfriend who can make me moussaka or baklava, then I’ll have some trust in him.
2. When You’re In A Bathroom Other Than Your Own, Never Turn On The Tap On Full
There was once I went and visit an aunt at the hospital and I had to use the bathroom. After I did my little tushee, I wanted to wash my hand at the basin and I turned the tap on full because I was thinking that I was in my bathroom back home. Obviously I got the water splashed on my red dress and I had to remove it to dry at the hand dryer and incurred my father’s wrath for having to wait for me while my dress dries.
3. You Can Never Have Too Many Knives
I have this fancy that I need to have separate knife for separate item that I want to cut. I have a knife for cutting up onions and garlics, I have a knife to cut up fish, I have a knife to cut meat and I have a knife to cut the vegies. I am very irritated if someone uses the wrong knife because the smell will stick to the blade and I had to really wipe it to remove it. Wouldn’t it be easier if everyone just stick to the right knife for the right thing?
4. Never Drive Like A Madman Unless You’re Driving Someone Else’s Car
Who would want to wreck their own car, wear out the gears and scrape the paint off the body? I mean if it’s someone else’s car you can always say that a scratch is already there, or that tires are already looking like a mirror. Best cars to wreck are rental cars because it’s not your problem if the gears are worn out. Of course you don’t exactly wreck the car in term of smashing it into a lamp post.
5. If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say, Then Say It Anyway
Life is not about you pleasing everyone, so why bother pleasing at all? You can choose to be tactful, you can choose to be rude or you can choose to be blunt or blatant. But anyway at all that you choose, you need to say what you feel or think and what people want to think of you over what you’re saying, then they are more than welcome to do exactly just that. But if you dare to express out loud and say what you’re thinking, then of course you also need to be prepared to face the risk either the wrath of others or the scorns of those around you. But nevertheless, say what you have to say.
6. If You’re In Doubt, Just Spit It
How many times have we tried to sound intelligent about something that we don’t know in the hope that our choice of intelligent words would mask the fact we have to absolute idea what we are talking about? Don’t you notice that first, we start to repeat the same thing over and over again, trying to change the orders of the words, or trying to make it longer so it sound as if we are not in fact saying the same thing. Or that we try to disguise our panicky voice with a voice that not ours, so that we suddenly sound like a diplomat or something.
I mean, yeah, I guess, honesty is the best policy. For this, I take my hat off to George Bush. Yes, the George Bush. I mean, come on, everyone can see that t his guy doesn’t have single clue what he is doing but did you see him stammer? Did you see him constantly running his fingers through his hair? Nope. Because he spits it out. Remember 9/11, well, who doesn’t, but do you remember the speech he gave after the somber speech from the Presidential Office about America being under attack? The one that he gave during the press conference? Yeah, that one. I LOVE that speech.
Bush went something like, “The United States is under attack. We don’t know who would want to do this to us, we have no idea who we have upset (yeah, right) but we are getting straight down to this. We pray that all Americans will be safe and the White House is doing everything in our power to find the ones who did this to America.”
I mean, that had to be one of the most laid-back speech ever made by a president of a country. Of course, Bush definitely knows what’s going on and he probably knows all along who attacked The United States but he sounded as he doesn’t. And that’s what my father calls spitting it out when you’re in doubt.
7. When You Tie A Knot, Make Sure You Tie It Right
My father is obssesed with knots. I mean he could even pass for a sailor, for Pete’s sake. He is someone who knows nuts about ropes and knots and then suddenly he is this Rope Man, you know. He has different types of knots for everything. When you want to tie a clothesline, this is the knot you use. If you’re hanging something temporarily, this is the knot you use. He even knows what knot to use to knot a rope.
At first I find this annoying because he constantly telling me that I tie something wrongly but then I see that he definitely has a point. Us layman, or the non-obssesed-knot-tying layman, does not care how we tie a knot as long as the rope holds and we can hang something. But the problem comes when taking off the rope. So hard it has become that sometimes, or rather most of the time, we end up cutting the rope off.
A good knot, my father says, is easily done and easily undone but still holds strong. I have always thought that the more I tie it or the more I wrap the rope around the pole, the tighter and stronger it is but that is not the case with ropes. There’s something else about ropes, now I’ve learn. You have to feel it, you have to absorb it, you have to own it then it will be a perfect knot.
Heck, now tying a knot has become a pleasure for me. You see the rope going under or over or under-under-over-under-twist-under. It’s a whole rope Zen thing with my father. I guess a good knot is like a good grip on someone. You wrap your fingers around them in simple grip, hold on it with all your strength but you can still let go at the end of the day…