Posted in Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationship


My birthday is coming up soon and I don’t think I have felt so jaded before.

Granted, I have never truly been big on birthdays (except perhaps my husband’s), but I did somehow look forward to it. This time around, I don’t even feel like I want to know it’s my birthday.

For one, I have not been feeling myself because it’s been ages since I last wrote for myself. As a matter of fact, I just realized that my last post on this blog was a year ago; just a few days before my birthday – just as how I’m writing this right now. There is nothing more I love in this world than writing and reading, but as I said, I have not been writing for myself for ages. It’s always been about work, it’s always been for other people.

Never have I realized how important it is to write for myself. I thought that as long as I’m writing something, I would be happy because I’m still writing.

You’ve heard how people say that if you love someone, you would always try to find the time for them no matter how busy you are. I guess that’s no different than when it comes to doing the things you love. If you really love it, you would find the time to do it.

Thing is, it seems almost impossible for me to find the right time for me to write. A friend who is also a mentor told me that I should just write each day, even if it’s just one paragraph each day. I tried, but it didn’t feel like writing. I couldn’t just write one paragraph. When I write, I want to be writing for a long time. But I know that to be writing for a long time, I need time.

And I just can’t seem to find that.

My kids are definitely more independent now than they were a year ago. But somehow, things seems more hectic and chaotic. There’s so much I want to do, but there’s just not enough time to do it. When I finally did find the time, all I want to do is rest, and during the times I did get my rest from my chores and work, I felt guilty for resting.

I feel like I’m burning out sometimes. I feel like I’ve been stretched to my limits even though I know in my heart I’m nowhere near my limits. I feel like my soul is tired and it’s starting to take a toll on how I see everything.

I understand now what Bilbo means when he feels like “butter scraped over too much bread.”

I don’t know.

Maybe I just need a really long vacation.

Posted in General

I Just Don’t

I’ve been going through a lot lately. These things have made me edgy, stressed, and quick to temper. I realized these so most of the times, I tried to tone them down, but there were once or twice several times that I lost it.

However, one of the things that was very obvious was how I didn’t want to be touched.

As a mother of 3 very young kids, this is almost impossible. My kids are very affectionate and they like to cuddle, lean, and/or touch me. On good days, I’m proud of this because I would like to believe it’s a reflection of how they’re brought up in a home full of love and affection. But on days that I’m stressed, I find this to be too much. I would recoil when one of them leaned against me or I give them a quick hug when they tried to cuddle. I know they might feel weird or even hurt when I do that, but I just feel like there’s just too much of this cuddly lovey dovey stuff.

I don’t have to tell you how this made me feel guilty as hell, but by God, I just don’t want to be touched.

I know people say when I’m older I would miss the times my kids would sit on my lap as we watch Monsters, Inc. for the 100th time. I know they say that I would cherish the moment when my kids still want to hug and kiss me because before I know it, they would be the ones who didn’t want to be touched.

Am I crazy? Am I selfish? I don’t know. But I know what I feel about being touched while I’m stressed and I know it’s unfair to my kids, but I also know there’s nothing I want more than to be left alone.

Posted in General

Cooking’s A Peach!: My First Cooking Blog

I’ve been toying with the idea of having a separate blog just for cooking for quite some time now.

It’s nothing fancy or extraordinary because I don’t want to pretend that I could cook haute cuisines (though, I suppose, I would be making several attempts, hahahah) or daydream about my life being like Hassan Khadam from The Hundred-Foot Journey.

I have the idea of having a blog where it serves more as a quick reference that makes sense to everyone, especially those who are short on time or to those who are just learning to cook.

After much considering and slowly compiling my recipes, I have decided to have one!

Simple cooking blog


I still have many recipes to upload, but there it is!

I can’t promise that I will write or upload a recipe each day, but I will try to have at least 2 new recipes every week. I will share whenever there’s a new post. Alternatively, you can also follow (and like, of course!) my FB page of the same name so you will automatically see new posts on your news feed.

If you choose to follow my blog and my page, I thank you in advance and I hope you will be able to take something from it!

Posted in Home Made, Motherhood

Chocolate Chip Cookies Craze

I don’t know about you, but I just love chocolate chip cookies. I could really eat them every single day.

When I was younger, while I didn’t have any romantic idea about having the dream wedding or a happy family, I’ve always known that if I ever have either of them, I want to be able to bake the best chocolate chip cookies.

Butterless chocolate chip cookies


Because of this I have been trying many recipes; some traditional ones that are passed down in my family from mother to daughter and some I improvised from the ones I found on Google.

Today, I tried (yet again) to make these butterless chocolate chip cookies.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against butter. In fact, I love them so much I usually use in a lot of my cooking. It’s just that I ran out of butter and I still want to bake.

These cookies may take a little longer to make because there are several extra steps than the usual simple recipes, but it’s worth it because I made about 75 pieces of cookies (1.5″x1.5″) around 2pm and now it’s 10pm and not a single piece left!

Here’s how.

Posted in General

Busy Bee Little Me

It’s been ages since I last wrote and I feel awkward doing this now.

But I’ve been doing so many things, I can’t find the time to sit down and write.

One of the many things I’ve been doing is taking beading orders for dresses. Aidilfitri is coming, so many people are either getting married or looking to jazz up their outfit for the occasion.

I’ve done beading before, but it’s only for my own or close relatives, but lately I get a few people asking me to do beading for them. It’s turning out okay and quite productive, because while I don’t expect to do this on a full-time basis, I’m getting order quite regularly. What I love most about this is how I see my work getting better and how much I’ve improved when I first started doing beading when I was 15.

Here are some samples of my work and I’m really proud of them. Now off to more beading because more orders are coming so I need to get the ones I have done as soon as possible.

So, talk soon!


*If you’re interested (and in Malaysia/Singapore only for now, soon I think I might expand, who knows!), drop me a line in the comment or to my email


Manik dahlia
I love this Lazy Daisy design with two-layer hem beading.





Manik bunga
Simple floral beading for a blouse.


Manik baju kahwin
Embellished dress: Complete work for a wedding demi-couture.


Manik baju crumble
Did a floral beading ala embroidery for my mom’s dress she wore to a cousin’s wedding.


Manik baju kahwin
Work in progress for a wedding demi-couture