Posted in General

Cooking’s A Peach!: My First Cooking Blog

I’ve been toying with the idea of having a separate blog just for cooking for quite some time now.

It’s nothing fancy or extraordinary because I don’t want to pretend that I could cook haute cuisines (though, I suppose, I would be making several attempts, hahahah) or daydream about my life being like Hassan Khadam from The Hundred-Foot Journey.

I have the idea of having a blog where it serves more as a quick reference that makes sense to everyone, especially those who are short on time or to those who are just learning to cook.

After much considering and slowly compiling my recipes, I have decided to have one!

Simple cooking blog

 

I still have many recipes to upload, but there it is!

I can’t promise that I will write or upload a recipe each day, but I will try to have at least 2 new recipes every week. I will share whenever there’s a new post. Alternatively, you can also follow (and like, of course!) my FB page of the same name so you will automatically see new posts on your news feed.

If you choose to follow my blog and my page, I thank you in advance and I hope you will be able to take something from it!

Posted in Motherhood

Of Being A Mom and Losing Weight

Work out for moms

The topic of how to lose weight after having kids has got to be one of the most discussed topics among me and my other mom-friends.

For many of us, losing the weight we’ve gained during pregnancy almost seem impossible. It has been the cause of frustrations, anger, and to some of us, even embarrassment.

Even though many of my mom-friends had alluring figures before pregnancy, not all of us are able to get back into shape. I have gone through yo-yo weight ever since I got married and after my pregnancies. Before I was pregnant with my first son, my weight has always been the same. Although far from what I would’ve liked, it has never really gone down, but it has never gone up either.

When I delivered my first, I was at 220lbs. I wasn’t worried about losing the weight because I have never been truly conscious about my size because I’ve always felt that we’re only as big/small as we want to feel. So being at that weight didn’t bother me.

What made me change my mind was the difficulty I had to go through of lugging all that weight while having a baby for the first time.

I hated how I can’t move as fast as I wanted, I hated how I could sit on the floor to play with my son but had to have help to help me up. When I decided to lose weight, it was drastic. I set my mind to it and I pushed through.

And I did it. I went from 220lbs to 130lbs in about 7 months. I wrote about it here if you want to read more on that.

Weight loss mom

Now I have 3 children and most of the times it feels almost impossible to try and lose weight when I have to do something all the time. It doesn’t really help that I’m a writer working from home who has to chase tight deadlines for days on end sometimes.

However, I realize, it is not impossible. It is not an excuse to let the weight pile on. It is not something that I couldn’t do.

I’m not sure how much this would help you, but in this two-part post, I thought I’d share the 10 top things I do to try and lose weight while taking care of 3 kids, working, and getting the housework done.

I’ll tell you now that most of the times it won’t be easy and it won’t take you 2 months or even 6 months maybe, to be in the shape you want, but I’ll also share on how I got through those tough days.

 

1. Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself One of the things I learned to let go while being a mom and trying to lose weight is how I always berate myself for being fat.

I know I try not to make it a problem as I’ve said earlier, but I have my bad, moody days when I get pissed off when I can’t fit into my jeans, but I try my best to be careful to not let this get to me. I remembered when I was 220lbs and starting to realize how big I was, I was constantly thinking about how thin I was before, how I could wear that cute halter top that my husband bought for me during our honeymoon.

And I vividly remember how thinking about this just made me feel even worse about myself. The first step for me to losing weight was to love how I am now.

I strive to look better, focus on how I want to be, rather than how I was during my “heydays”.

 

2. Don’t Ever. EVER. Compare

With so many blogs, Instagrams, and Facebook pages of super super healthy moms who seem to be able to do it all, I admit it can be hard not to feel bad about myself.

I get envious of how some moms who also have 3 kids can fit into super skinny jeans and look gorgeous with those knee-length boots and cropped tops. Not only that, they bake gorgeous cookies, complete awesome Pinterest projects, and a champion in keeping their house spotless.

Then I realized that that’s them.

I know that that body is not mine (even though I can get it too). I don’t want to lose weight for the wrong reasons, least of all jealousy. I don’t want to lose weight to make other moms feel bad about themselves. I don’t want to lose weight because I want to buy a $200 slip dress. I want to lose weight because that’s what I want it for my body.

I’m not saying these super healthy moms are doing it to make other moms jealous because they’re doing it for their body too, but sometimes you can’t help but to feel envious because you’re not quite there yet (and it feels like you’ll never will!).

So I switched to following health blogs or websites more than I do of these super gorgeous moms with sleek abs. I still check their blogs for tips and tricks on working out or cooking or baking, but I don’t compare my home to theirs, I don’t try to pull off an outfit they just posted on Instagram.

It is completely okay to want to look like those gorgeous moms, don’t get me wrong. But you need to make sure why you’re doing it so that you won’t get frustrated when you don’t look like that after months of working out.

 

3. Use What You Have

I don’t go to gym. Ever. Okay, so I’ve been to one before, but I decided I didn’t like it.

I don’t like how I always feel as though I’m the fattest one in the room. I know it’s probably all in my head and no one really cared about my jiggling buttocks as I tried to do squats, but I don’t like how it made me feel.

I still want to lose weight, so what I did was, I place myself in my most comfortable environment where no one would judge – my home.

I could work out in an unwashed t-shirt and old sweatpants and no one is going to say anything. Since I don’t have the equipments that I need, I look for things I could use at home instead.

I used to use my kids play mat before I could get my own yoga mat. I used to fill water bottles and used them as dumbbells before I could the appropriate ones for me. As a matter of fact, there are many workout routines that don’t require any equipment at all. I would spend a little bit of time to find videos on YouTube for these workout routines and search some more on other health websites.

Though, I won’t deny that it does help to invest on several equipments such as dumbbells, yoga mat, or a resistance strap, but you don’t have to have all of them at once for you to start losing weight. As a mother of 3 on a tight monthly budget, I would think 100 times before buying these things. But I would get one whenever I can and use it in my routine before I could buy another piece of equipment.

Work out without equipment

4. Don’t Put It Off.

I think for me, if not many mothers, one of the toughest challenges in trying to lose weight is sticking to it.

Feeling dead tired after a day at work or having to chase around kids all day and getting housework done from morning to night is enough to make the thought of working out a dreaded one. I know this is easier said than done, and believe me, I have felt it thousands of times, but you just have to do it.

You need to find the time to do it. Even for 20 minutes.

I know it’s impossible for me to work out when my kids are asleep so I do it the moment they’re down for their afternoon nap or at night after they’re asleep where I can workout for a longer period. I would usually do light routines in the afternoon such as basic yoga poses, and concentrate on a full body workout at night.

At first I felt there was no way I could spend 20 minutes to work out when there’s housework waiting to be done because I usually get more housework done in 20 minutes when my kids are asleep than I do in 20 minutes when they’re awake. But most of the times, I ended up checking Facebook for more than 20 minutes after my kids are asleep. When I logged off and got started on the housework, I realized how I could’ve used that time to work out instead.

So yes, cutting down your time on the Internet really, really helps if you needed the push to start working out. My mother always says, “If you have time to watch TV, then you HAVE time.”

 

5. Pace Yourself

Many a time I set myself a goal that I want to lose weight this much weight by a certain date or month. And many a time I failed.

So, I switched from setting a goal of trying to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date to a goal of how much I could work out in a day.

I would set a goal of completing how many reps for one routine. Say if I did 2 sets of 8 rep squats the last workout session, then I aim to do 3 sets of 8 rep squats for the next. It may seem like a trivial thing and a small accomplishment to make and achieve, but believe me you, it works in pushing yourself to reach the goal you’ve set. And without you worrying about it every day, you are losing that amount of weight you initially aimed for.

It’s often the case where mothers want to lose weight because they want to prove it to others as much as to themselves that they can still maintain their shape after pregnancies. I see nothing wrong with this because everyone wants to look good and I know and understand that. I would be lying if I say I don’t want others to look at me and wonder how I’m able to stay in shape after 3 kids. Just like everyone else, I want and love to look good too.

But you have to be careful not to make this your only goal and sole purpose.

Like I said, do it for yourself and no one else. If there are admirations, then it’s a bonus to keep motivating you to push harder. But don’t ever push yourself to lose weight because you want to look thin for others.

 

I’ll share more in the next post on how I push through the tough days and what keeps me going.

But first, why not share what’s your biggest hurdle in working out at home with kids?

Posted in General, Motherhood

Looks Like 2015 Has Just Started

Oh, wow.

Things have been slow for me.

It seems like finally 2015 has decided to wake up and start. It’s been hell for the past 3 months, and I thought things are going to be the same way as it was last year. But thank God, so far things are finally picking up.

My eldest is starting school next year, and I don’t know who’s more excited. I mean, I’m nervous as hell too, but I’m excited as well because he gets to go to school and see what’s it like for himself. Though we wanted to homeschool him, Eros has been asking about going to school so often that we feel he would not be happy if he doesn’t.

Mohen decided that Eros is going to go to school for the experience. Since both of us are leaning more towards homeschooling and we’re not putting pressure on our kids to get good grades, we feel school would be a good environment for him to develop other skills that we can’t teach at home.

It would be good for him, I believe, because we’re going to teach him more at home and let him have fun at school. I know our schools here pay too much attention on how many As a student gets, but I guess as long as Eros knows we don’t measure him with that, it should be okay for him.

Work is slowly picking up for me too. I’m getting more writing projects, and I’m getting several steady clients. So I guess that’s good. Though I wish I can take a long, long, long break, I know I need to push through at the moment. I can’t wait for Mohen and I to go on a holiday, just the two of us, like how we had our holidays before the kids come along.

I won’t speak too soon to say that 2015 is going to be great for me, but as long as it’s better than last year, I’m happy enough. As long as I have the things that I need to make it through the day, I’m more than happy.

How’s your 2015 looking so far?

Posted in Marriage, Relationship

Dear Some Women

Dear some women,
Give your man a break.

So much stereotype and expectations are put on them that it’s no wonder they feel like letting you down sometimes. He’s only human. Just as the way you complained that you’re only human when you feel like you have to do everything around the house.

Women always talk about how men need to please her and do things to make her happy, but most of the times, many of us are not doing half of the same effort we expect men to do for us. We want men to appreciate us, see us for the women that we are and notice little things that we do for them.

For all you know, men want the same thing too.

He too wants you to appreciate him, he too wants you to see him for the man that he is and maybe he too wants you to notice the little things he does for you, like buying that extra loaf of bread even though you didn’t ask him to.

Women don’t have the pressure to keep things inside because we can blabber to our men, or we can talk to our girlfriends. Men don’t usually have that luxury so don’t you think it’s more pressuring for them to keep it all in while at the same time try to be the man of your dream?

I’m not a man.

But I believe they need equal attention, equal affection and equal passion from us. I believe they want to talk to you, but too conscious to do something like that. I believe men are actually more sensitive than women, but certain things don’t allow them to show it.

So dear some women, when your man is not being all that you want him to, give him a break once in a while.

I would like to think that at least he’s trying.

Posted in Motherhood, Parenting

SAHM – Sanity and Humor Mandatory

Today was a good day. A real good day.

Why?

Because for me, a good day means all housework is done on time, I get time to relax for a few hours, I don’t yell at my kids, they don’t get on my nerves and basically, everything goes the way they’re supposed to.

But a real good day means my kids still do get on my nerves but I don’t yell at them for being kids.

It was really something that Mohen said to me the other day.

We were just hanging out in the kitchen, having our ritual coffee before bed. Well, coffee for him and apple juice for me since I don’t take coffee while I’m carrying. And so we were telling each other how each of our day went. Mohen would ask how were the kids and what did they do on that day. Usually I see this as my daily domestic report to keep him in touch with the family despite being away from home a lot because of his work.

But somehow our conversation last night struck a different chord in me.

I have no idea what triggered it but I guess it was just an epiphany, for a lack of a better word. This morning I woke up and the first thing that came to my mind was the conversation I had with Mohen about how our kids were doing the day before.

I started thinking about what they did the whole day – playing with each other, a little screaming to win over their favorite toy, spilled water on the floor, cookies crumbs on the book pages, few episodes of crying, strewn toys all over the place, snacking between meals; basically nothing they have never done before.

Then I started thinking about how I reacted to these.

I lost my temper when Eros had cookie crumbs all over the book that he was reading despite me giving him a plate to catch the crumbs with. I yelled when the water spilled all over the floor because he placed his cup too close to the edge of the table, I scolded Eros and Sophia for screaming at each other because they were fighting over a toy.

At the back of my head, I know that the way I reacted was really base on the reason to have everything in perfect order.

I don’t want cookie crumbs all over my son’s book because I am an anal bibliophile. He’s 3. He doesn’t even know what a bibliophile is. It’s great enough that he’s interested to read at all.

I yelled when the water spilled because I just mopped the floor and I hate having to do it again. He didn’t do it on purpose. He’s 3 and was eager to get back to the cartoon he was watching.

I scolded my kids for fighting over a toy because it was too noisy and I was trying to read. He’s 3 and she’s 10months old.

All of a sudden I felt really, really foolish. No, wait. I was being too nice to myself – I felt stupid, really.

I can’t believe that I allowed myself to be dragged into behaving childishly over things that are out of a toddler’s control.

I mean, how much can Eros really behave as a mature adult when he’s barely 4 and how quiet can Sophia be when she’s 10months old and learning to talk? Everything they do is because they are growing up. Not because they are bad kids or they are trying to get on my nerves.

Okay, I know toddlers are at that stage where they will try to push you just to see how worse can certain things get just to satisfy their burning curiosity. But as a parent, I should’ve realized that my son is only 3 years old.

I can’t stress enough how foolish it feels to know a 3 year old get to beat you.

So today I decided to do things differently. Before my kids woke up, I told myself these few things:

1. No matter what they do, it’s because they are kids. Not because they are trying to pick a fight with me.

2. If anything goes wrong, it’s not because they are wrong. It’s because it didn’t happen the way I want them to.

When they are not fighting, Eros and Sophia are the best of friends.

Eros had some M&Ms while he watched cartoon. I always put his snacks in a small cup so he doesn’t finish everything in one day. When he wanted to return the cup to the kitchen, he placed it on the kitchen counter but it missed and the remaining candies scattered everywhere.

He shot me a worried look because I will usually yell at him.

Instead, I shook my head and told him to be more careful the next time. Eros almost didn’t believe it was me for he stopped to look at me for a few seconds. He said “Okay!,” cheerfully and went back to the living room.

Me? All I had to do was pick up the candies and give the floor a quick wipe. No yelling, no stress – nothing.

Later in the evening Eros and Sophia was getting bored and started fighting over toys. I was reading on the couch and it was starting to get on my nerves. I tried to stay calm for as long as I could just to see how much I can take.

When I feel like yelling, I called their names firmly and asked what was going on  even though I know I won’t get a straight answer, what more from a baby. But that was enough to get their attention so I told them that there are plenty of toys to go around and that they should share.

Eros grumbled a little but he let Sophia played with his toy truck while he picked up another action figure. After a few seconds, Sophia lost interest in the toy truck and went to play with the bricks, Eros took the truck and started playing on his own.

No screaming, no crying, no yelling – nothing.

Me? I went back to reading and managed to finish 4 chapters before it was time for their evening bath.

During dinner, Eros was drinking and talking at the same time so his drink spilled onto his pajamas. Of course on any other day, I would scream at him because I don’t want to change him again and it would be a waste to put a fresh pajama in the laundry hamper.

Today, I laughed because it was really funny watching him trying to talk with a mouthful of water. He laughed too and wanted to do it again because he thought I approved of what he did. I didn’t yell, if that was what you thought I did. Although I did laugh the first time, the second time he tried to do it, I told him firmly that it wasn’t a funny thing to do and I don’t want him to wet his pajama.

No screaming, no spoiled dinnertime – nothing.

Me? I went back to listening to Eros talking and we finished our dinner in peace.

By changing the way I reacted to what my kids are doing, I managed to stay stress free and my kids seem to be happier too.

Eros is really cooperative and helpful with the simple house chores today. Sure he has a few episodes of retaliation but I thought I handled them pretty well. He listens to my instructions more willingly when I’m not the Yelling Mom and I do get more things done today than I did the whole week. Sophia is well, 10 months old so I can’t say much about her.

By the time my kids are in bed for the day, I actually feel better about myself and truly feel happy about being a mother.

I mean, I’ve always love being a mother but today, it make me realize that I can actually really do this without being as stressed out as so many people said mothers with toddlers are.

I’m really glad that I realized this now and not when my kids are teenagers and they’ve known me as the Yelling Mom all their childhood. I know now how to handle my own anger and not lash it out on my kids just because they are being kids and not doing things the way I want.

I will try to practice this everyday from now on and hope it will too soon become a second nature to me. Just like when I first adapted to being an SAHM after I quit work. I know it takes time but I believe in my own capability to know that it’ll be something that I can do.

And just in case you’re still wondering, SAHM actually stands for “stay at home mother” but yes, sanity and humor are mandatory in being one.

Posted in Relationship

Stay Curious, Stay In Love

It’s funny how my previous post was about being all in love with your partner even through a hectic and demanding life that Yahoo! should feature a somewhat similar article about relationship the very next day.

It talks about the infamous Seven-Year Glitch, where after seven years into a relationship, couples tend to be, quote – “disenchanted with their relationship and tempted to stray” en quote.

However, according to the article, nowadays things may seem to stray even after just 3 years. It’s known as the Three-Year Itch. After the third year, real life starts to sink in where financial obligations are becoming more and more demanding, properties and assets are considered and investments and insurances are made, especially if couples start to have family.

This is the reason why I didn’t want to (previously) get into a relationship.

Not that I have fear of commitment or wants to be saved from sharing life’s obligations with someone and all that, I simply just didn’t want to be bored with that one person.

When my parents started dating.

I remembered asking my parents when I was a teenager, how do they go about living their lives with each other for so many years? I wonder about things they talk about. Don’t they ever run out of topics? Don’t they think they will be bored with the person’s same mentality throughout their whole life?

First of all, my mom said that there’s always things to talk about because things kept happening around you and time changes. You will always have something new to discuss and talk about so that’s not something I should worry about.

Then she said if you should already know or at least, able to see a person’s mentality before you decide to get married. So it shouldn’t be a surprise to you when you’re finally living your lives together. Unless that person’s IQ suddenly drop way below 70, then you don’t have much to worry about.

And one thing that she told me after that that I think I’d remember until I’m old and will pass on to my kids and grandchildren was that, you should never be surprised with your partner’s sudden revelation of a character you didn’t know they possess.

A lot of us tend to spend sometime dating someone before we decide to get married. So some of this dating time can last from 3months to even 10years. I admit that there’s not much you can learn about a person in 3months no matter how an open book you think they are and there’s probably nothing else left to find out should you be with a person for 10years before getting married.

My parents now. Still married and in love after 27 years.

But my mom said, there will always be something new that you will discover about your partner. Especially before, during or after an argument.

And by something new, I think my mom is indirectly telling that it’s usually a negative thing that you will discover. Of course good sides can emerge after having an argument but so far in my own experience, I usually learn the ugly sides of us.

Mohen and I have just passed the 3 years threshold and I admit, there were times I thought our passion has waned or that the heat has somehow cooled down and we’ve fallen into the routine footsteps of committed couple.

Whenever we argue or something bad happened, I always wonder why I bother being in a relationship. I can’t imagine why would I submit myself to such mental torture and unnecessary heartache where I can live by myself and not worry about anything else except for where should I go for dinner later.

Then I realized that that’s the irrational me talking. The one that sometimes think I should be a free bird instead of being in a relationship that’s obviously the best thing that ever happened to me.

I realized how I’ve stick to this relationship, how much I’ve fought to be in it, how I’ve hold on even when I’m convinced I really shouldn’t anymore and above all, how much I really truly feel that I want to be with Mohen no matter how I sometimes want to strangle him.

Although it has only been 3 years, I feel that I’ve learnt some pretty strong basics to gear me up for the many more years ahead of us. I may not be an expert on relationships and probably the last person to be playing Dr. Phil but I think as someone who is apart of a new relationship and a young partner-mother, these much I can share:

  • Do things just because – I love preparing special dinner for Mohen just because he’s been working late for many weeks. Even though it’s not his or my birthday or our anniversary, I will text him early in the evening saying that I’ve something special prepared for him and I would love for him to be back early for that one night only. It gives me thrill to cook up his favorite meal, select and download romantic songs that we both love, put up candles around the house and probably get me a nice new dress to greet him in. It’s the warmth and atmosphere of the night that will make us remember how much we love each other’s company and how important it is to stop and be with each other in the middle of a hectic schedule, even if it means just for one dinner
  • Prioritize date nights – Although this is something my mom don’t quite get, it is very important to sometimes leave the children with a sitter and go out just the two of you. My mother is more domesticated than I am so she has this guilty conscience of going out without her children. But for me, I need to feel that the relationship is about Mohen and I, not with the kids. We, of course, have several different types of relationship even among family so I need to be with Mohen just as he is, not as a father to my children. We’ll go out, have dinner, catch a movie, or perhaps a long night cap at a bar; it doesn’t matter. Just as long as we’re together just the two of us, like how we used to be before we start having a life together
  • Be curious – I always ask Mohen about his day, ask more questions if it seems like a good day, wait few hours before asking what’s wrong if it isn’t. Or ask him about his favorite sports even if I don’t really understand when he explains it. It makes me feel nice to see him talk about something so enthusiastically
  • Take things with a pinch of salt – When Mohen comes home and tell me things about work or about people he meets, I do feel left out. More than feeling left out, I feel as though I’m growing obsolete in his eyes. What I tell  myself each time is that it’s part of the our lives that we can’t avoid that no matter how strong we are together, there will always be certain part of our lives that differ. So I take things lightly and when certain stories start to annoy me, I will tell myself to relax and instead feel good about the fact that at least Mohen is sharing
  • Leave love notes – One thing that I always do for Mohen ever since we first got together is that I love leaving notes for him in unexpected places. Like when he asked me to iron his work-shirt that he wanted to wear for the day, I will quickly write a small note while he showers and put it in his pocket after I’m done ironing. Or that when I’m tired and wanted to sleep in early and not wait up for him, I will leave his dinner in the fridge but with a love note on the Tupperware. It doesn’t matter if he throws it out after reading it but I’m contented with the fact that while he reads them, he may feel a spark of something and thought of his love for me, even if he was reminded of it only for a second or two
Photo courtesy of Best Quotes

It’s a working progress, Mohen and I. We know that we have a long way ahead of us. There are times when it’s very trying and one of us may secretly feel like giving up but I’m proud that we’ve always been able to talk it out and stick to what means the most to us.

I hope we’ll have a chance of staying together like our parents do. It’s nice to grow old together, knowing that you guys have been through so much and laugh at how naive you were when you were just 3 years together, thinking the world is going to end if you have another argument about the bills.

I want that feeling. And I want that feeling, knowing that we’ve proudly got 27 years under our belts.

Posted in Children

It’s Not As Easy As 1,2,3

Eros is going on 3 years old soon.

Eros being cheeky.

Each day he is trying my patience with new habit that he seems to acquire overnight. Funny how he is able to pick up something so fast and learn it within impressive time frame that I wonder how much really he has learnt.

Last week he learnt how to ignore me when I call him.

After what seemed like an eternity and just when I’m about to lose it did he turn around slowly and look at me as though he has never seen me before. Still he will take his own time to make his way to me and pretend to study every minute detail of the toy he constantly have with him.

I don’t think I have been tested so often before until I’m with a 3 year old son. Previously, I always think that I have a high tolerance for people and pesky things but not after Eros. I feel like I can lose it any second and snap like a twig.

This week Eros decides that everyone else should wait for him to finish whatever it is he’s doing before going for his shower or taking his dinner or finishing his afternoon bottle before his nap.

Playing with his Lego keeps him occupied longer than any other toys can.

Every other sentence is ended with a, “Wait. I want to do this,” or “Wait. Play first,” or “Mommy wait. Eros do this.” 

I can’t tell you how annoying it is to be asked to wait when I need to be doing the housework. Although he doesn’t keep quiet and turn to stone when I call him anymore, the way he always put up his hand asking me to wait sure is driving me up the wall.

It is a wonderful thing for Eros to know what he wants and see how far he can push me. But with me carrying a 37weeks baby that is due in about 3 weeks time, I wouldn’t want to be tested. I literally feel my temper is really short lately and there many times I had to walk away because I thought I might hit Eros.

My second pregnancy isn’t as easy as Eros’ was so there are many times I had to sit down and catch a breath, change into looser clothing because I really do sweat that much now since I seem to radiate more body heat than a sauna generator can and I feel like a total klutz. My fingers feel as though they have swelled to triple their size, I feel like as huge as an oil tanker so when Eros is being whiny or mess things up, I get extremely irritated.

I have had him being whiny and messy before and I handled it fine when I wasn’t carrying another baby but right now I’m having gestational hypotension as well and I get headaches almost constantly. I don’t want to get angry with Eros for being a child that he wonderfully is but sometimes I wish I can drown out the noise and the housework and domestic obligations just so I can rest.

Eros being himself.

Each time my temper is running short with Eros, I tried to remember all the parenting guidebooks I’ve read and try to do what they advised me to do. Most of the times it works but sometimes when I’ve had enough, I went back to yelling at him. It hurts me to see him cry after I yelled at him because I know he’s not doing it on purpose. It’s his child development learning curve and he can’t help being rebellious.

I kept telling myself that I’m the one who should understand him more than he should understand me. He’s only going to be 3 and how much of a pregnant mom’s situation can he understand.

Our little cheeky angel.

A friend once told me that her aunt told her about taking care of toddlers. It’s the number game – Wonderful One, Terrible Two, Terrifying 3 and let’s not go to four, shall we?

I know if I kept thinking it in this terms, it’ll probably be true because my mind is telling me to be prepared as such. I tried not to think about it whenever Eros is being very trying but there were times it creeps to my mind.

All I know is there is nothing more I love than taking care of Eros. And I also know it definitely is not as easy as counting the numbers.