Numero Uno

My daughter, Sophia Erana Mohen was born on November 11th, 2011.

It was a wonderful date for almost everyone because 11.11.11 only happens once every 1oo years. It was amazing for me to give birth to her on that date because her due was November 8th. And when she was overdue by 3 days and started to show reduce fetal movements, 11.11.11 was the furthest thing from my mind.

All I wanted was for her to be safely delivered.

Just like everything else that follows her, Sophia’s delivery was one dramatic episode in my life.

Now a full year has passed and Sophia is one year old.

Sophia fascinated by the candle on her first birthday cake

I can’t believe how fast time flies because I literally feel like I just had her and I just got back from the hospital. And of course now I am pregnant again and waiting for our third child (a boy!) to be here in just a few more weeks.

I mean, how crazy is that? I’ve seen couples walking at the mall with small children making a beeline behind them and I wonder how do they do it with so many small kids to handle. And hey, here I am now, about to be doing the same thing with Sophia just learning how to walk a few months back and now discovering that she can run too!

Eros is being a great big brother. He loves Sophia to bits albeit the occasional hair pulling and shoving her out of the way, I can really tell he adores her and he really takes care of her. Especially when she is sickly with gripe or cranky because she is sleepy. Eros will go out of the way to make sure his sister is comfortable and all her pillows and blankets are with her.

2012 has been a really, really hard year for Mohen and I.

There were so many things that happened that they really stretched us thin and more things are looming to happen.

Mohen and I tried hard to make sense of things and make sure we don’t lose hope but sometimes it’s really hard. I tried to be strong for him because I know it’s doubly hard for him to be the man of the family and the only one working to put food on the table for us. Although sometimes I feel like breaking down, I know that I’m the only one Mohen’s got so I need to be strong for him or otherwise things would just fall apart even worse than they are now.

So when Sophia’s birthday was here, both of us felt really bad because we couldn’t have a first birthday for her or anything that we couldn’t even buy a birthday cake. I know I can bake pretty well and it would mean more for us if I were to bake one for her but as parents, we want to splurge on our kids, especially on their birthdays.

I didn’t want to cry on Sophia’s birthday because I don’t think it’s a good thing to cry on birthday unless it’s happy tears but it was hard to keep it in when I know that we should’ve had something for her.

Obviously she doesn’t know anything and won’t be able to remember any of this but it still would’ve been nice if we could have something.

My mother always tell me that when parents buy expensive things for their children, it’s more for the parents’ pride and ego rather than the child’s use and benefit. I know that enough because when we were doing better than now, we wanted to get all the expensive things for Eros because it made us feel good to have expensive kids’ stuff. It made us feel good to have others look at the things we can afford for our children.

As an SAHM now, I truly know that the most expensive things aren’t necessarily the best things for your children.

Buying cheaper things or at a bargained price doesn’t mean you’re cheap. It doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend on your children.

I learn to be thrifty so that money can be used for the things that really matter. Because for everything else I’m there with them and able to provide everything they need from a mother.

Sophia eating her first birthday cake

I would be lying if I say that I don’t ever want to get expensive things for my children now after years of being an SAHM.

I still do want to buy expensive things for my children because I love splurging money on them because they are after all my children. But the only difference now is that, I know enough when to buy expensive things for my children because not only I do not want to waste money where I shouldn’t, I wouldn’t want my children growing up used to having expensive stuffs that they think those things come easy and they can get them simply by asking.

Mohen and I didn’t have an easy childhood and we know now that our childhood made us the strong persons we are now. That is how we want our children to be.

Although it’s going to be harder for us than our parents did bringing us up because nowadays, every other kid has an iPad or an iPhone even before they hit middle school. We know it’s going to be harder for us to explain and relate to our kids about the importance and necessity of life without putting them under the bus for not having any fancy gadgets. I know how nasty kids at school can get so Mohen and I know that we need to teach our kids to be strong and smart enough to understand the difference of what’s important and what’s necessary.

Having said all that, it was great of my mom to surprise us with Sophia’s birthday cake. We didn’t have a first birthday party for Sophia like we were able to for Eros’ first. But with my parents and sisters around and a big enough cake to go around all 8 of us and hours of laughter, I think Sophia had a blast on her first birthday.

We all did.

Sophia and us on her first birthday